Biographical Information: Liz was born in 1963 in Sharon, Connecticut and was raised in Amenia, New York and attended Webutuck High School. She graduated from SUNY Oneonta and has worked in the Albany, New York area since graduation for Farm Family, St. Peter's Hospice and most recently as a self-employed day care operator. She lives in Glenville, New York with husband Bill, and children Molly and Ryan.
Well, it's a couple days before Mother's Day as I write this so my main focus will be on what a terrific mother Liz is to our children. As I started to write this, I realized how fortunate both our chilren and I are to have Liz doing all the things she does. Right from the start when she had Molly, she has worn many hats. Because she was held in such high regard by St. Peter's Hospice for the work she did as a social worker, there was never a doubt that they would allow her to work part-time so that she was able to spend a lot of time with our new bundle of joy. On her days off from work, she spent a massive amount of time with Molly, teaching her about life as she carted her around everywhere. While I was off working two jobs and going to graduate school, she did it all - raising a baby, cooking, cleaning, etc. At the same time, she provided her special brand of tender-hearted support to each of her hospice patients. Whether it was from her co-workers, other professionals who came into contact with her or the patients themselves, I can't tell you how many people spoke so highly of the care Liz consistently delivered at what can only be described as the most diificult time a family can possibly face, the impending death of a loved one. And when these days, which I'm sure were often emotionally and physically draining, were over, Liz would come home and deliver care to another needy person in the form of Molly. Yes, our lovely Molly was a needy little girl and she wasn't afraid to tell you so. One of her early habits which seemed to begin shortly after she began speaking was to stand there, and with the whiniest voice you can possibly imagine, shriek " I need, I need". As she would belt this out repeatedly, she would stand with her arms outstretched above her head and her hands and fingers would be opening and closing in what I can best describe as a lobster-like manner." I could take this for about three seconds at which point I would usually turn the volume up a bit on the TV and yell "Hey Liz, I think Molly needs something again". She was always so patient and would be able to figure out what exactly it was that dear Molly needed and settle her down. Another of Molly's trying behaviors was her version of temper tantrums. Like other new parents, we had heard horror stories about the "terrible twos" and gearing up for the temper tantrums that we would see other families deal with at this stage. However, Molly never once had the types of temper tantrums where kids flop themselves all over the ground or toss items all over the place. No, she would put her highly developed verbal skills to good use in "Woe is me" types of tirades as she would retreat to her bedroom. Our all-time favorite was when Molly was clumsily getting in Liz's way as Liz was trying to prepare dinner. Liz accidentally stepped on Liz's bare foot and Molly let out a screech to beat the band. Liz apologized profusely to no avail as Molly said " That was no accident, you did it on purpose". She then ran up into her bedroom and went on for several minutes: " I can't believe my own mother stepped on my foot on purpose. This is horrible. I'll never be able to walk again. I'm going to have to hop on one foot for the rest of my life. Hop-hop-hop. Hey look, here comes Molly hopping down the street". Imagine working all day with people who are about to lose their loved ones and all the stress that goes along with that and then coming home to Molly the Hopping Monster! Even after being falsely persecuted on so many occasions, Liz would be able to find the right words to say to Molly and actually convince her that we weren't trying to kill her.
And along came Ryan. After many months of anticipation, we would finally get the call that there would be a special delivery coming for us straight from Korea. I had my own set of emotions, which included excitement, nervousness and others. As we sat in a McDonald's at JFK, I looked across the table and the tears started flowing down Liz's face as the enormity of how our lives was about to change must have hit her. In a few short moments, Ryan was in our arms as we were being supported by a number of loving family members who came along for the special occasion. Once again, Liz came up big as Ryan adjusted to his new family. We found ourselves again facing sleepless nights and a crying baby. And could this baby cry! Much like any new parents, it was a challenge to keep everything running and again Liz juggled her roles of mother, wife and social worker magnificently.We gave Ryan the nickname of "Thumper" as a baby because of his habit of forcefully slapping the bottom of his feet on his mattress which made a sound that reverberated throughout the house. We didn't get so lucky with the "terrible two" stage this time around! In fact, it seemed that Ryan started it early and enjoyed it so much that he extended this phase. Liz had the patience of a saint and we began to see what a remarkable young boy Ryan was developing into. I remember one of the first times,however,that we tried to go out to eat in public with Ryan.While dining at the nearby Bayou Cafe, he demonstrated one of his patented moves which I fondly described as the "windshield wiper" in which he quickly cleared the table of anything that was on it. Just to put a little frosting on the cake, Ryan would pound the metal table as hard as he could. Admittedly, there were times that I just didn't have the patience to deal with all the challenges that fatherhood presented and there are probably some times I'd like to re-play. It was at these difficult times that Liz would either take over or offer me comfort and re-assurance.
As Molly and Ryan got older, Liz expanded her role from chief cook and bottle washer to include taxi driver, homework helper and more. At one point, she became ill and would not be able to continue working but she never complained and never wavered from being the best mother any kids could ask for. It was during this time that Liz came up with the idea of starting her own day-care business. I was concerned about her leaving the stability of her job with St. Peter's but she did her homework, was determined and confident. Since the decision was made to start Fun and Freinds, Liz has been able to share her love and compassion to many children in addition to our own. It takes a special person to have parents trust their children with them and "Miss Liz" is just that person. I know that when each of these parents drop their children off in the morning, they know they are getting a lot more than they would get at some run-of-the-mill day care. And the smiling faces of the children who come bounding up our stairs each day says it all.
One of Liz's strong traits is that she has an understanding nature and she has passed this on to our children. They will need it because their mother has a few quirks. In our house, we call them "Lizzies". A good example might look something like this:
Liz to friend she hasn't seen in a while: "How are you? I didn't even know you were pregnant. When are you due?"
Friend: Actually, I'm not pregnant, Liz, I've just put on a few pounds.
Liz: Are you sure? You really ought to have that checked out.
We went on vacation in New Jersey a few years ago and my Uncle Larry took us out for ice cream. There were no parking spots in the lot so he said he would just circle his van around the block while we got the ice cream. After getting our ice cream, a van that I guess in Liz's world looked something like Uncle Larry's van pulled up. Knowing full well that this was not Uncle Larry's van, Molly, Ryan and I stood off to the side as Liz rushed past us to climb in the van...some stranger's van!
Ryan: Why does Mom always do things like that, Dad?
Me: I don't know, son.
On one occasion, we went to church and as we were leaving, Liz pointed to a couple and said "Hey, there's Bunny and Earl". She was referring to a couple we had met a while ago for the first time. I clearly said to Liz "that is definitely not Bunny and Earl". She insisted that it was them and started heading in their direction. At this point, I veered in the other direction to avoid embarrassment. True to form, Liz went right up to a complete stranger, embraced her with a big hug and said"Bunny, it's so great to see you again!". After untangling herself from my wife, the woman said "My name is not Bunny". Liz wheeled to the woman's husband and asked "Earl ?" in a fully coiled position and ready to hug again. She was still clinging to the possibility that this woman was mistaken about her own identity and that this was in fact her husband named Earl. To Liz's disappointment, the dead- ringer for Earl was the bearer of bad news and confirmed that he was quite sure that his name wasn't Earl and he had never heard of a woman named Bunny, much less have one for a wife. I had been hoping to get home from church in time to catch the kickoff of the Eagles game but that was not in the cards as Liz went into a long-winded discussion with her new friends about how much they looked like Bunny and Earl. Now that I think of it, I don't think I've seen that couple at church again since our first meeting. It is at times like these that I simply look at my children and tell them how much their mother has done for them.
On any given day, Liz is shuttling our kids and others to some sort of practice, game or other activity. Some day our kids will realize that not every child has a mother who is willing to do this. Whether there is a Tae-Kwon-Do tornament in NYC or a volleyball tournament in Buffalo, Liz will get our children there. There are many things that Liz has passed up on so that our children could be able to do what they want to do which is another reason that they are so fortunate.
We are probably much like many other parents in that we are proud to see our children achieve things. Whether it is making a team or winning a game or getting good grades, it is a good feeling to sit back and just take in the moment. However, Liz does a great job of keeping things in perspective and reminding our children that the most important thing is to be good people. Although we have had a ton of evidence that would support the fact that our children are developing into the types of people we would hope they would, two incidents this past year stand out. Neither of them would have happened if our children had not been taught the right way to conduct themselves by Liz. While attending one of Molly's volleyball games this year, I recognized one of Molly's teachers and went over to introduce myself. Upon telling her who I was, she beamed and said " You have an awesome daughter - not just a great student but one of the best kids I have ever met". She went on and on to the point where I was probably blushing. This one really stood out but we have been so lucky to have so many teachers, coaches and other adults share the same feelings as this teacher. Shortly before this, Ryan participatred in a Tae-Kwon-Do tournament in Queens. He did a great job and won some medals which was really nice. However, the best was yet to come. About halfway home, we stopped at a rest area and while we were inside Ryan pointed out a man and said that he had been one of the judges at the tournament. He went over to the man himself and said hello. The man's eyes lit up and they appeared to be having a very nice conversation as I waited in the background. Ryan then waived me over and said that the man wanted to talk to Liz and me. As sincerely as any person could ever be, he said "You folks should be very proud. I have been officiating for over 20 years and your son is as good of a kid as I have ever met". He went on to point out all the little things that Liz has spent so much time teaching Ryan all these years - things like looking people in the eye and acknowledging them and learning from your mistakes. It was as great of a moment as any parent could ask for, a moment we will never forget and one that would not be possible if Ryan did not have a fantastic mother.
Just last weekend, Liz and Molly made their annual pilgrimage to a mother-daughter weekend at a YMCA - owned camp on Lake George. The number of participants seems to dwindle each year and people can make a million excuses why they can't go but our daughter knows that her mom will do whatever it takes to be available for this special weekend each year.
Thank you for reading, Happy Mother's Day to you or anyone who is important to you, and wish Lizzie a Happy Mother's Day if you happen to see her.
Bill Gallagher
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Sunday, December 26, 2010
John Descher, Philadelphia, Pa.
Biographical information:
Born approximately 1910, lived most of his life in Philadelphia, worked first as a fireman in Philadelphia and later at UPS. Married to Catherine and had children John, Loretta, Jean Joanne, Joseph, and Michael. Died in 1979.
John Descher was my grandfather and I was lucky to know him for 20 years before he suddenly passed away. I think that when you spend a lot of time with people you love and respect, you tend to take on some of their traits. I don't know that a lot of people would have described Grandpop as " warm and fuzzy" but I got to see his tender side on many occasions - he just had his own style. I too would not be considered as warm and fuzzy so this is a good time to let you know that just because I'm not hugging you or showering you with compliments doesn't mean I don't love you. Before I talk about my experiences with my grandfather, I'll fill you in on some of his background as I know it. Keep in mind that family stories are not always accurate and you hear different things from different people but this is what I recall. Grandpop's parents both died when he was a youngster, leaving him orphaned and looking for a stable place to live. My understanding of exactly who raised him and where is very sketchy. I was told that he lived for some period of time in an orphanage where he was not always treated very well. He ran away from there at some point and lived in several places with legend having it that he lived for some period of time in a chicken coop. In any event, he had a rough upbringing but somehow managed to pick up a number of skills along the way. Whether a car needed to be fixed, a new roof needed to be installed or someone needed something built, Grandpop would take care of the situation himself. He would somehow manage to make it through his rough times as a youngster and marry my grandmother, Catherine Bolger, gain employment as a Philadelphia firefighter and start his own family. Unfortunately, tragedy would strike again. My grandfather's first-born child, John Jr. was struck by a truck on his way to the corner store and was killed instantly. The pain this man endured before I ever met him is unimaginable to me. I would guess that many people would have given up on life at this point or at the very least would have gone into a shell. Not my grandfather. My mother told me that he was well known in the Germantown section of Philadelphia for putting his carpentry skills to good use by making toys for kids in the neighborhood or helping anyone who needed it with home repair projects. These same carpentry skills were put to good use in my family home and I'm sure the homes of many of my extended family. He helped us out with many repair projects but the greatest of all was the ping-pong table. As a young boy, I must have made it known that I would have liked a ping-pong table in our basement. Well, one day I went off to school and when I got home, there was a ping-pong table in the basement - a home-made one. Grandpop gathered some scrap wood and made a trip to the local lumberyard and put together the best ping-pong table that any kid in Schenectady, New York ever had. That thing was solid as a rock. The only problem was that it was one piece and when my parents finally sold our house a few years ago, it was impossible to get it out of the house. It was still in great condition! He did this on one of his many trips from Philadelphia to Schenectady. My siblings and I were so lucky to not only have terrific grandparents but to see them so frequently in spite of living 4 hours away. I can remember so many Little League and CYO games with my grandparents in the stands cheering me on. For them, a 4-hour drive to take in their grandson's ballgame was nothing. I learned lessons both big and small from Grandpop. We went on many fishing trips in his small boat and he always told me to make sure that I didn't tie my shoe laces just in the unlikely event that I would fall overboard. Who knew that on one of these trips HE would fall in and we'd have to drag him back in the boat? He also taught me the value of hard work. He was a man who did things the right way and never stopped until the job was done. But he couldn't keep it at that. He hated lazy people and wsn't afraid to voice his opinion on this matter. I recall that for many years there was a home on Eastern Avenue in Schenectady that was badly in need of a new paint job. During all these years, the owner of this house seemed to be constantly sitting on his front porch with his feet perched up on the rail of his porch. This drove my grandfather crazy! Any time we'd go to visit him in Philadelphia, one of his first questions for me was always " Did that lazy bum paint his house yet?".
Grandpop was also a physical fitness buff and was described by some as "pound for pound, the strongest man in Philadelphia". He was constantly teaching me wrestling and boxing moves and asking me how many push-ups I could do. One of the ways I try to keep myself motivated from packing on even more pounds than I already have is to keep a picture nearby of Grandpop on the beach in Wildwood - the guy was jacked! Speaking of Wildwood, this is where we spent a lot of with Grandpop. My grandparents owned a small house in Wildwood and we were always welcome there. Many of my greatest memories took place in Wildwood and none of them would have been possible were it not for my grandparents' hospitality. In my late teens, I'd bring my buddies down the shore and they too developed a special place in their hearts for my grandfather. Another thing that struck me in my times in Wildwood were how many people from Philadelphia used to stop in to say hello to my grandparents.
Ironically, I learned that one of the best days of my life was also one of his. Following my senior year in high school, I spent a day with my grandfather and he drove me around some of the neighborhoods where he grew up and shared story after story. I loved every second of it! When I woke up the next day, my grandmother told me that he told her how much he enjoyed our time together. Grandpop would die less than 2 years later and even though I miss him so much and would have loved to have spent more time with him , I will always cherish that day we spent together.
As I look back, I realized some of the great lessons I learned from my grandfather:
God Bless Grandpop!!!
Bill Gallagher
Born approximately 1910, lived most of his life in Philadelphia, worked first as a fireman in Philadelphia and later at UPS. Married to Catherine and had children John, Loretta, Jean Joanne, Joseph, and Michael. Died in 1979.
John Descher was my grandfather and I was lucky to know him for 20 years before he suddenly passed away. I think that when you spend a lot of time with people you love and respect, you tend to take on some of their traits. I don't know that a lot of people would have described Grandpop as " warm and fuzzy" but I got to see his tender side on many occasions - he just had his own style. I too would not be considered as warm and fuzzy so this is a good time to let you know that just because I'm not hugging you or showering you with compliments doesn't mean I don't love you. Before I talk about my experiences with my grandfather, I'll fill you in on some of his background as I know it. Keep in mind that family stories are not always accurate and you hear different things from different people but this is what I recall. Grandpop's parents both died when he was a youngster, leaving him orphaned and looking for a stable place to live. My understanding of exactly who raised him and where is very sketchy. I was told that he lived for some period of time in an orphanage where he was not always treated very well. He ran away from there at some point and lived in several places with legend having it that he lived for some period of time in a chicken coop. In any event, he had a rough upbringing but somehow managed to pick up a number of skills along the way. Whether a car needed to be fixed, a new roof needed to be installed or someone needed something built, Grandpop would take care of the situation himself. He would somehow manage to make it through his rough times as a youngster and marry my grandmother, Catherine Bolger, gain employment as a Philadelphia firefighter and start his own family. Unfortunately, tragedy would strike again. My grandfather's first-born child, John Jr. was struck by a truck on his way to the corner store and was killed instantly. The pain this man endured before I ever met him is unimaginable to me. I would guess that many people would have given up on life at this point or at the very least would have gone into a shell. Not my grandfather. My mother told me that he was well known in the Germantown section of Philadelphia for putting his carpentry skills to good use by making toys for kids in the neighborhood or helping anyone who needed it with home repair projects. These same carpentry skills were put to good use in my family home and I'm sure the homes of many of my extended family. He helped us out with many repair projects but the greatest of all was the ping-pong table. As a young boy, I must have made it known that I would have liked a ping-pong table in our basement. Well, one day I went off to school and when I got home, there was a ping-pong table in the basement - a home-made one. Grandpop gathered some scrap wood and made a trip to the local lumberyard and put together the best ping-pong table that any kid in Schenectady, New York ever had. That thing was solid as a rock. The only problem was that it was one piece and when my parents finally sold our house a few years ago, it was impossible to get it out of the house. It was still in great condition! He did this on one of his many trips from Philadelphia to Schenectady. My siblings and I were so lucky to not only have terrific grandparents but to see them so frequently in spite of living 4 hours away. I can remember so many Little League and CYO games with my grandparents in the stands cheering me on. For them, a 4-hour drive to take in their grandson's ballgame was nothing. I learned lessons both big and small from Grandpop. We went on many fishing trips in his small boat and he always told me to make sure that I didn't tie my shoe laces just in the unlikely event that I would fall overboard. Who knew that on one of these trips HE would fall in and we'd have to drag him back in the boat? He also taught me the value of hard work. He was a man who did things the right way and never stopped until the job was done. But he couldn't keep it at that. He hated lazy people and wsn't afraid to voice his opinion on this matter. I recall that for many years there was a home on Eastern Avenue in Schenectady that was badly in need of a new paint job. During all these years, the owner of this house seemed to be constantly sitting on his front porch with his feet perched up on the rail of his porch. This drove my grandfather crazy! Any time we'd go to visit him in Philadelphia, one of his first questions for me was always " Did that lazy bum paint his house yet?".
Grandpop was also a physical fitness buff and was described by some as "pound for pound, the strongest man in Philadelphia". He was constantly teaching me wrestling and boxing moves and asking me how many push-ups I could do. One of the ways I try to keep myself motivated from packing on even more pounds than I already have is to keep a picture nearby of Grandpop on the beach in Wildwood - the guy was jacked! Speaking of Wildwood, this is where we spent a lot of with Grandpop. My grandparents owned a small house in Wildwood and we were always welcome there. Many of my greatest memories took place in Wildwood and none of them would have been possible were it not for my grandparents' hospitality. In my late teens, I'd bring my buddies down the shore and they too developed a special place in their hearts for my grandfather. Another thing that struck me in my times in Wildwood were how many people from Philadelphia used to stop in to say hello to my grandparents.
Ironically, I learned that one of the best days of my life was also one of his. Following my senior year in high school, I spent a day with my grandfather and he drove me around some of the neighborhoods where he grew up and shared story after story. I loved every second of it! When I woke up the next day, my grandmother told me that he told her how much he enjoyed our time together. Grandpop would die less than 2 years later and even though I miss him so much and would have loved to have spent more time with him , I will always cherish that day we spent together.
As I look back, I realized some of the great lessons I learned from my grandfather:
- When I think of the things he overcame, I'd be foolish to complain about my problems
- Work hard
- Share your gifts
- Recognize how important family is and do whatever it takes to stay connected with them
God Bless Grandpop!!!
Bill Gallagher
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